2: Quarantine Media Review, Part One of ??

My wife and I have both been working on projects during quarantine, which means Netflix on in the background 16/7. Some stuff holds one of our attention, lots of stuff holds neither, and in the incredibly rare case, we will actually sit down and watch something together 😀

It goes without saying we are still watching The Office and Parks and Rec, like always, and I'm finally going to write my episode guide/reviews for both series in a future post for this project. Today's post will focus on recently watched, genuinely new-to-me shtuff.

And may god bless the History functions of our various apps and browsers: without them I would not be able to remember what I just finished watching. But with them we can have beautiful posts like this to bring us all together through inert housebound bliss.

OZARK - Seasons 1-3

Rating: 6.1/10

Summary: Off the rails guilty pleasure, inconsistent 

Sara started this without me. I came home from a long day at work and found her watching a bunch of middle school kids in a strip club. I assumed the new season of Shameless was out. I got pulled in and we watched all thirty episodes in ten days. It held my attention through season two but I did not enjoy the third season with the long lost brother and a suddenly chatty (and personally invested?) drug lord. The show really struggles with writing consistently for the characters and you can get whiplash trying to explain people's motives - although stupidity works 99% of the time. I see this as a guilty pleasure that I felt more guilty about as the show went on and the writing got more absurd. Jason Bateman is awesome as usual and I loved the cinematography. 

THE CORE (2003)

Rating: 4.8/10

Summary: Utterly idiotic disaster movie, not quite bad enough to be good

We went on a disaster movie tear as soon as the outbreak hit, and Netflix kept the recommendations coming. This was always on my radar because we called our high school friend Melissa "The Core" and she absolutely hated it. This movie had nothing to do with her but I did laugh out loud when I saw it recommended. Aaron Eckhart (who kinda sucks) is the budget action hero but Hilary Swank is really the lead - although the movie forgets to give her anything to say. I can't even wrap my head around how similar this movie is to both Armageddon and Deep Impact: in plot, pacing, and sloppy ensemble storytelling. This is undoubtedly the worst of the three but I still think it is worth watching for some of the more ridiculous (and visually impressive) action set pieces. 

MINORITY REPORT (2002)

Rating: 7.4/10

Summary: Original and interesting story retold with fantastic visuals, great suspense

 I loved this movie when it came out but I hadn't seen it in almost twenty years. I was really impressed with the momentum of the story. For a deeply personal tale of revenge and loss there was very little heavy handedness in the way people's emotions were conveyed. With everything I know about Tom Cruise I should dislike him intensely but he is such a fantastic actor, especially in these roles where everything is at stake. He has a way to make this stuff seem believable as he nonchalantly struggles, strives, fights, and generally busts his ass, but always with a reluctance that makes him seem human. OK, man crush rant over - it's just a great fucking movie. Read the story and watch it. 

LOVE IS BLIND - Season 1

Rating: 6.5/10

Summary: Painfully captivating reality trash...with a twist!

Realistically this should be a 10/10 but that's supposed to be for Citizen Kane and shit like that. No, if Ozark is a guilty pleasure this is a "can I even admit that I watch this?" pleasure. But what a pleasure it was! The concept: a big group of people meet each other, one-on-one, one at a time, without the ability to see each other. Day after day people go on "dates" with each other through unnecessarily futuristic pod walls. People are more open, honest, comfortable, and horny when they can't see or touch the other person - and not surprisingly the show's gimmick of getting people to propose to one another at the end of this long period of dating and redating works wonders. The show's second act, actually getting these people together in the real world and planning a wedding, is as delicious of a shit-sandwich as you can imagine. Just trust me, hide this from your friends and family if you have to, but watch it, and stare without fear into the abyss of confusion. And weddings!

THE SOCIAL NETWORK (2010)

Rating: 6.3/10

Summary: Great dialogue and pacing, incredibly obnoxious in every way

I was surprised at how little I knew about this movie going into it. It was a huge success, and I'm a medium Aaron Sorkin fan, but I didn't have any interest in the story so I avoided it. It was a surprisingly "small" movie, with only a few locations and a very tightly connected cast of characters. Because it is Sorkin, you can again count on interesting, sad, and hilarious dialogue which is sometimes too clever to feel real. I could tell the acting was really good because I absolutely hated most of these characters and wanted only bad things to happen to them. Again, it was surprising that I expected this to be "The Facebook Movie" and really it was about a few kids in college fighting over money.

As always, thanks for reading some or all of this. I would love to get a comment or two from anyone out there :) Happy quarantining! 

-Jack