21: The Beatles - Ranked and Rated

 I revisited the entire discography for this post over the course of ten days. Most songs I had heard countless times and there was a practical enjoyment to grading them. The albums themselves were much harder to grade. At more than one point in their career, the Beatles were releasing admittedly fragmented and unfocused albums, sometimes by design. In the end, I decided to grade the albums using a simple total average of the individual songs. Nothing else was considered because of just how different the albums are in origin and scope. 

The songs themselves were graded on a 100 point scale, 0.0 to 10.0, based on two key criteria:

1) Listenability/Enjoyability: Gut reaction response, personal connection/preference, how happy I am if it comes on the radio

2) The Bar Band Factor: How impressed I would be by the song if I heard it performed by an unknown band at random

[Editor's Notes: Cover songs, marked with an *, count towards an album's final score but are not included in the final ranked list of (original) songs. Their score will appear only on the album tracklist.

"Yellow Submarine" only contains an EP's worth of original Beatles material. It is not included in the album rankings but its songs appear on the final list. Spoiler Alert: It mostly sucks anyway.

Non-album singles + b-sides are included in final ranked list.]

Fading Light of Youth presents:

the Beatles - Ranked and Rated

Part One: The Albums, Worst to Best

#12 - The Beatles (White Album)

Tracklist

1.Back in the U.S.S.R. 

2. Dear Prudence

3. Glass Onion

4. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

5. Wild Honey Pie 

6. The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill 

7. While My Guitar Gently Weeps (Ft. Eric Clapton)

8. Happiness is a Warm Gun 

9. Martha My Dear

10. I'm So Tired

11. Blackbird

12. Piggies

13. Rocky Raccoon 

14. Don't Pass Me By 

15. Why Don't We Do It in the Road?

16. I Will 

17. Julia 

18. Birthday 

19. Yer Blues 

20. Mother Nature's Son 

21. Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey 

22. Sexy Sadie 

23. Helter Skelter 

24. Long, Long, Long 

25. Revolution 1 

26. Honey Pie 

27. Savoy Truffle

28. Cry Baby Cry 

29. Revolution 9 

30. Good Night

Review: My family owned "The White Album" but we never listened to it. In fact, no one I knew ever listened to it. You'd see it in people's collections, it was required, and you'd see it referenced for its impact or importance, but my god was it easy to go 37 years without hearing "Mother Nature's Son", "Martha My Dear", "I Will", or "Julia" - all absolute stinkers that would've fallen flat on any Beatles release. The passable, fatty average songs on the album, like "Back in the USSR", "I'm So Tired", and "Glass Onion" are only barely enjoyable on their own but get credit for at least making something happen. Even my favorite song on the album, the hyperdrive fuzz and shock treatment vocals of "Helter Skelter", I mostly appreciate for its influence and attitude, as opposed to being something I'd pick to listen to while I did the dishes. Looking up and down the bloated and bland tracklist, I'm struck that even if you cut the album in half and presented the best fifteen tracks, the collection would still not justify its length. With this release, the band did a full 180 from tight, focused albums of pop gems to a shambolic dice roll of leftovers. I really hate this album as an entity and even the decent songs sound worse surrounded by damp fluff. 

#11 - Magical Mystery Tour

Tracklist

1. Magical Mystery Tour 

2. The Fool on The Hill

3. Flying 

4 . Blue Jay Way

5. Your Mother Should Know

6. I Am The Walrus  

7. Hello, Goodbye

8. Strawberry Fields Forever

9. Penny Lane

10. Baby You're A Rich Man

11. All You Need is Love

Review: Oof. What a fucking mess. The decision to make the B-side of the album a collection of non-album singles is quite telling of the A-side's quality. "The Fool on the Hill" is a mildly enjoyable snoozer, the instrumental "Flying" is fine. Outside of that the first half of this album can go straight to hell. The singles collected on side B are all solid, with the exception of the fairly hideous "Baby You're a Rich Man." I would never choose to put on "Penny Lane" or "Strawberry Fields Forever" but they are above average Beatles songs that absolutely soar in comparison to the songs from the film. "Hello, Goodbye" and "All You Need is Love" both hover near the very bottom of my favorite Beatles songs, and really the entire second half of the album is some of band's most accessible and elevator-ready music.  

#10 - Beatles for Sale

Tracklist

1. No Reply

2. I'm A Loser

3. Baby's In Black

4. Rock And Roll Music* (4.3/10)

5. I'll Follow The Sun

6. Mr. Moonlight* (2.2/10)

7. Kansas City/Hey Hey Hey* (4.3/10)

8. Eight Days A Week

9. Words Of Love* (3.1/10)

10. Honey Don't* (2.0/10)

11. Every Little Thing

12. I Don't Want To Spoil The Party

13. What You're Doing

14. Everybody's Trying To Be My Baby* (3.0/10)

Review: Three of the first four Beatles albums were loaded with cover songs, but nowhere is the selection weaker than on "Beatles for Sale." Similar to the two albums above, there is a strong sense of padding and a general lack of excitement. The strongest song, "Eight Days a Week", is among the band's catchiest songs. It stands out as far and away the best song on the album. The enjoyable if underwhelming "No Reply", "I'm a Loser", "I'll Follow the Sun", and "What You're Doing" all lift the album up with some unique lyrics and instrumentation. The low point of "Honey Don't" is painful. As an album, a very weak and disconnected collection - but the quality of the band's original songs hover just above average and help soften the suffering of the cover songs. 

#9 - With the Beatles

Tracklist

1. It Won't Be Long

2. All I've Got To Do

3. All My Loving

4. Don't Bother Me

5. Little Child

6. Till There Was You* (2.4/10)

7. Please Mister Postman* (5.5/10)

8. Roll Over Beethoven* (3.0/10)

9. Hold Me Tight

10. You Really Gotta Hold On Me* (8.0/10 - Favorite Cover Song)

11. I Wanna Be Your Man

12. Devil In Her Heart* (5.0)

13. Not A Second Time

14. Money* (5.3)

Review: The quality of the better original songs on this album is pretty staggering. "It Won't Be Long", "All I've Got To Do", and "All My Loving" is the best three song string in the Beatles catalog. You can't do much better as an introduction to the band or rock and roll in general. Once again, the album drags mightily under the flab of some really weak cover songs, notably the trite and painful "Till There Was You" and the competent but unnecessary "Roll Over Beethoven." However, unlike "Beatles for Sale", there are also quality covers here: the energetic and enjoyable "Please Mr. Postman" and "Money" and my personal Beatles cover, the Lennon-led "You've Really Got a Hold On Me." Still a strange and disjointed listen as a full length record but the best of the individual songs are among my favorites. 

#8 - Let It Be

Tracklist

1. Two Of Us

2. Dig A Pony

3. Across The Universe

4. I Me Mine

5. Dig It

6. Let It Be

7. Maggie Mae

8. I've Got A Feeling

9. One After 909

10. The Long And Winding Road

11. For You Blue

12. Get Back

Review: Unlike earlier albums that felt fragmented and unfocused because of a collection of covers and originals, "Let It Be" feels that way because the band was breaking up. There is very little cohesion or even commonality from one song to the next here. Both the song quality and the perceived interest of the band varies greatly. The title track is one of my favorite songs of all time. It's guitar solo alone justifies the rest of the album's jankiness. There's a steep drop off in quality from there to the still enjoyable toe-tapper "One After 909" and then a handful of slightly enjoyable, average songs like "Two of Us", "Dig It", and "I Me Mine". The floor for the band is noticeably higher here, and while there is very little to write home about outside of the title track, there are also no outright stinkers or truly disagreeable "experiments." Nevertheless, it is clear the band is done creating music together at this point.

#7 - Please Please Me

Tracklist

1. I Saw Her Standing There

2. Misery

3. Anna (Go To Him)* (7.0/10)

4. Chains* (2.7/10)

5. Boys* (2.2/10)

6. Ask Me Why

7. Please Please Me

8. Love Me Do

9. P.S. I Love You

10. Baby It's You* (7.1/10)

11. Do You Want To Know A Secret

12. A Taste Of Honey* (2.4/10)

13. There's A Place

14. Twist And Shout* (5.8/10)

Review: A few truly cheesy and dated cover songs aside, this is a pretty great debut album. All of the originals are average or above average, with the exception of "Love Me Do", a song I've always loathed and find it difficult to sit through. "Anna (Go To Him)" is a sleepy but captivating cover that showcases the band's strengths. "Please Please Me" demonstrates the band's otherworldly ability to craft catchy pop music and is really showing off on a debut album. The terrible covers here ("Chains", "Boys", and "A Taste of Honey") really drag the album down and, ironically, can't hold a candle to the young band's originals. An impressive and fun album, and the first one on this list that really stands up to repeated front to back listens as a unique experience. 

#6 -  Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Tracklist

1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

2. With A Little Help From My Friends

3. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

4. Getting Better

5. Fixing A Hole

6. She's Leaving Home

7. Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite!

8.Within You Without You

9. When I'm Sixty-Four

10. Lovely Rita

11. Good Morning Good Morning

12. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)

13. A Day In The Life

Review: Any time you are revisiting something widely considered the best of all time, it can be hard to even know where to start. Stripped of all cultural importance and preconceived notions, and taken only as a collection of original songs, there are actually a lot of average songs here that I would never be that interested in hearing. As a unique experience, as a cohesive listen, this is clearly the band's best album. But personal preference for the individual songs parked it at #6 for me. The only true turd on the album is "Within You Without You", which is about as enjoyable as hitting yourself in the face with a frying pan for five minutes. Most of the songs are all bunched up in that just slightly above average enjoyability range where I'm not impressed but I'm not embarrassed: "Getting Better", "She's Leaving Home", "Good Morning Good Morning" are all good examples. My favorite songs on the album are quite different: the fun and sweet "When I'm Sixty-Four" and the dark and captivating "Day in the Life". While it is impossible to deny this album's importance and impact, the individual songs only feel slightly above average. 

#5 -  Revolver

Tracklist

1. Taxman

2. Eleanor Rigby

3. I'm Only Sleeping

4. Love You To

5. Here, There And Everywhere

6. Yellow Submarine

7. She Said She Said

8. Good Day Sunshine

9. And Your Bird Can Sing

10. For No One

11. Dr. Robert

12. I Want To Tell You

13. Got To Get You Into My Life

14. Tomorrow Never Knows

Review: I was shocked to see "Revolver" wind up at #5 because for a long time I considered it my favorite Beatles album. Again, scoring the albums based on the individual songs is sort of cheating, because these days you can skip the songs you don't like and create your own curated experience. The major take away from this album, for me, is that George Harrison wasn't quite ready as a songwriter. "Taxman", "Love You To", and "I Want To Tell You" all feel flat and underdeveloped. I've also always hated "Yellow Submarine" and would prefer to never hear it again. Oddly enough, this album has two of my all time favorite Paul songs and two of my tier-two favorite John songs: "Eleanor Rigby" and "For No One" for Paul, "I'm Only Sleeping" and "And Your Bird Can Sing" for John. I love those four songs so much that they lift the album WAY up the list. Those Paul songs are in the pantheon of pop music for me and I consider "And Your Bird Can Sing" to be the most underrated Beatles song. An incredible album, quality control aside.

#4 -  A Hard Day's Night

Tracklist

1. A Hard Day's Night

2. I Should Have Known Better

3. If I Fell

4. I'm Happy Just To Dance With You

5. And I Love Her

6. Tell Me Why

7. Can't Buy Me Love

8. Any Time At All

9. I'll Cry Instead

10. Things We Said Today

11. When I Get Home

12. You Can't Do That

13. I'll Be Back

Review: This beat out "Revolver" for the #4 spot by one hundredth of a percent. That's basically a rounding error, and I suppose I made that error haha. Unlike "Revolver", which has a small handful of amazing songs and some filler, "Hard Day's Night" is front to back quality. There isn't a bad song here, and the entire album has a unique aura of wild professionalism that is a joy to hear. "Any Time At All" is one of my favorite Lennon songs, and it kicks off the second half of the album with a blast. The low points on the album ("And I Love Her", "I'll Be Back") are at least unique and memorable. The cover songs are not missed at all. Although it isn't my favorite album, I consider this the band at their creative, possessed by the muse peak. 

#3 -  Abbey Road

Tracklist

1. Come Together

2. Something

3. Maxwell's Silver Hammer

4. Oh! Darling

5. Octopus's Garden

6. I Want You (She's So Heavy)

7. Here Comes The Sun

8. Because

9. You Never Give Me Your Money

10. Sun King

11. Mean Mr. Mustard

12. Polythene Pam

13. She Came In Through The Bathroom Window

14. Golden Slumbers

16. The End

17. Her Majesty

Review: With the exception of the obnoxious "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", side A of "Abbey Road" is as close to perfection as the band ever came. I could pretty much take or leave the entire second half of the album, which is full of specifically short and varied tunes. My favorite of the B-side stuff is "Golden Slumbers", a pretty and restrained McCartney ballad. "Something" and "Here Comes the Sun" are the absolute best of the George songs the band ever recorded, and they both fit into the album beautifully. On "Abbey Road" the band successfully bridged variety and cohesion in a way they never had before. The songs stand on their own as enjoyable tunes but the album also flows well from start to finish and there is a shared aesthetic that is unmistakable. This album is a classic and the best demonstration of the group's pure unique talent for songcraft. 

#2 -  Help!

Tracklist

1. Help!

2. The Night Before

3. You've Got To Hide Your Love Away

4. I Need You

5. Another Girl

6. You're Going To Lose That Girl

7. Ticket To Ride

8. Act Naturally* (4.6/10)

9. It's Only Love

10. You Like Me Too Much

11. Tell Me What You See

12. I've Just Seen A Face

13. Yesterday

14. Dizzy Miss Lizzy* (4.1/10)

Review: There's nothing grandiose or progressive about "Help!" In fact, it feels like a very quaint and cozy album. It manages to take the runner-up spot on the strength of the songs alone. Once again, the early George songs ("I Need You", "You Like Me Too Much") stick out as being particularly weak set against the John and Paul songs, and the lone cover sounds dated and boring. What we're left with are the remaining ten John and Paul songs, which range from solid ("Another Girl", "You're Going To Lose That Girl") to memorably great ("It's Only Love", "I've Just Seen A Face") to all time classic ("Ticket To Ride", "Yesterday"). The ability of the core songwriters to produce competent and enjoyable music in varied tones is on full display here, and you can't top "Help!" for pure enjoyability. 

#1 -  Rubber Soul

Tracklist

1. Drive My Car

2. Norwegian Wood

3. You Won't See Me

4. Nowhere Man

5. Think For Yourself

6. The Word

7. Michelle

8. What Goes On

9. Girl

10. I'm Looking Through You

11. In My Life

12. Wait

13. If I Needed Someone

14. Run For Your Life

Review: From a purely statistical, song-for-song rating perspective, the competition for #1 was a blowout. "Rubber Soul" is far and away my favorite Beatles album, with the highest percentage of favorite songs and the fewest below average songs. Even the songs that I only like a little bit, like "Norwegian Wood" or "What Goes On" are noticeably more enjoyable and memorable than another group's average songs. In the next tier up are some great and underrated songs that are just a step below all time favorite, like "Nowhere Man", "Think For Yourself", and "Wait". Finally we have the god-tier stuff like "I'm Looking Through You", "In My Life", and "Run For Your Life" that stand as some of my favorite pop music of all time. Both of the George songs are surprisingly solid and melodic, and even the boring "Girl" and "Michelle" are pretty in their own way, and mercifully short. What stands out most on this album is John Lennon's talent as a performer and songwriter. His songs took a massive leap forward here, and while the Paul and George stuff isn't nearly at his level, it doesn't matter - it is still one of the greatest albums of all time and my pick for the very best Beatles record. 

Part Two: The Songs, Worst to Best

Trash Tier

183. Blue Jay Way

182. Wild Honey Pie

181. It's All Too Much

180. Julia

179. Just a Northern Song

178. Piggies

177. Revolution #9

176. Little Child

175. Within You Without You

174. I Will

173. Yer Blues

172. Mother Nature's Son

171. Don't Pass Me By

170. Your Mother Should Know

Hovering Above the Trash (Like an Angel) Tier

169. You Know My Name

168. Yellow Submarine

167. All Together Now

166. Honey Pie

165. I Wanna Be Your Man

164. I Want To Tell You

163. Baby You're a Rich Man

162. Don't Bother Me

161. I Am the Walrus

160. For You Blue

159. Love Me Do

158. Love You To

157. Yes It Is

Meh Tier

156. Sun King

155. Maggie Mae

154. Magical Mystery Tour

153. You Like Me Too Much

152. Mean Mr. Mustard

151. I'm Down

150. Birthday

149. I Need You

148. Hold Me Tight

147. Old Brown Shoe

146. Savoy Truffle

145. The Inner Light

144. Why Don't We Do It In the Road?

143. Across the Universe

142. Taxman

141. Rain

140. Martha My Dear

139. The Long and Winding Road

138. She's a Woman

137. Rocky Raccoon

136. Getting Better

135. Maxwell's Silver Hammer

134. Good Night

133. Dig It

132. Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds

131. Tomorrow Never Knows

130. This Boy

129. I'll Be Back

128. Every Little Thing

127. Flying

126. Her Majesty

125. Two Of Us

124. I'll Get You

123. I'll Cry Instead

122. I'm So Tired

121. Paperback Writer

120. Happiness is a Warm Gun

119. Back in the U.S.S.R.

Hovering Above Meh (Like an Angel) Tier

118. I Call Your Name

117. What Goes On

116. Norwegian Wood

115. Polythene Pam

114. Glass Onion

113. You Never Give Me Your Money

112. She Came in Through the Bathroom Window

111. I Me Mine

110. Because

109. Don't Let Me Down

108. Blackbird

107. Fixing a Hole

106. If I Fell

105. She's Leaving Home

104. The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill

103. Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey

102. Can't Buy Me Love

101. And I Love Her

100. Not A Second Time

99. Good Morning Good Morning

98. Good Day Sunshine

97. Get Back

96. Here, There, and Everywhere

95. She Said, She Said

94. Another Girl

Solidly Above Average Tier

93. The Fool on the Hill

92. Baby's In Black

91. Got to Get You Into My Life

90. Michelle

89. Girl

88. Penny Lane

87. Cry Baby Cry

86. Revolution

85. Things We Said Today

84. I'm A Loser

83. The End

82. I Feel Fine

81. With a Little Help From My Friends

80. Hey Bulldog

79. The Word

78. If I Needed Someone

77. I've Got a Feeling

76. Sexy Sadie

75. I Don't Want to Spoil the Party

74. I'll Follow the Sun

73. I'm Happy Just to Dance With You

72. Dr. Robert

Flawed Favorites Tier

71. Carry That Weight

70. We Can Work it Out

69. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

68. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

67. Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite!

66. Day Tripper

65. The Ballad of John and Yoko

64. You Won't See Me

63. (SO CLOSE!!) When I'm Sixty-Four

62. No Reply

61. Misery

60. Strawberry Fields Forever

59. What You're Doing

58. P.S. I Love You

57. Ask Me Why

56. Thank You Girl

Memorable and Uniquely Beatles Tier

55. Dig a Pony

54. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

53. Dear Prudence

52. You're Going to Lose That Girl

51.A Hard Day's Night

50. You Can't Do That

49. Tell Me What You See

48. Tell Me Why

47. Do You Want to Know A Secret?

46. Long, Long, Long

45. There's A Place

44. Drive My Car

43. Lady Madonna

Third Tier Favorites

42. I Should Have Known Better

41. Think For Yourself

40. The Night Before

39. Wait

38. Hello, Goodbye

37. Please Please Me

36. It's Only Love

35. When I Get Home

34. I Saw Her Standing There

33. One After 909

32. Hey Jude

31. Oh, Darling

30. I'm Only Sleeping

29. Golden Slumbers

28. While My Guitar Gently Weeps

27. I Want You (She's So Heavy)

26. Helter Skelter

Second Tier Favorites

25. And Your Bird Can Sing

24. All My Loving

23. Nowhere Man

22. I Wanna Hold Your Hand

21. All You Need is Love

20. Eight Days A Week

19. Octopus' Garden

18. Come Together

17. A Day in the Life

16. I've Just Seen A Face

ALL TIME FAVORITES

15. It Won't Be Long

14. Here Comes the Sun

13.All I've Got To Do

12.Ticket to Ride

11. Any Time At All

10. I'm Looking Through You

9. Help!

8. She Loves You

7. Something

6. Let It Be

5. For No One

4. Run For Your Life

3. Eleanor Rigby

2. In My Life

1. From Me to You

As always, thank you for reading some or all of this :) Comments and feedback are welcome and appreciated. Take care of yourselves and your pets. Lots of love from my family to yours!